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Lord Blue

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(absence) [Feb. 9th, 2010|03:34 pm]
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absence

a piece of you fell off me
last night
in the shower
blackest hair, glistening
washing off in the tub swimming
over porcelain
against my feet sinking
into the rusty drain
a tooth the next day; while brushing my teeth
before bed
bloody in the sink rattled
i looked in the mirror
wiped away the white fog
and asked the person there
bulged out eyes and
pale and
blue-veined and
heroin skinned
"who are you"
the red blood ran out of a nostril
and from under the lid of an eyeball
didn't even feel warm on my skin or maybe
it hadn't happened at all.
walking down
the avenue
withered trees indifferent cars a solitary child
stops packing snow together
stands and stares
i stumble
past your door
guess you don't live there anymore
anyway, i
felt first an itch then my ear
came off in my hand, then my nose, my teeth
my fingers and my eyes
limbs
skin breaking off
every piece of you
shedding like a serpent molting
am i nothing
am i nothing
in the evening there is water coming down
old snow turning into slush
black ice in chunks
street lights solemn like sentinels
and silence
i wait for you to call,
but you never do.
i cry and cry and cry
tears coming out of my empty sockets
each falling into the pavement
freezing into a crystal
shaped like a word
that sounds like love
but feels like end
and hurts like goodbye.
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(v for vagigi) [Feb. 8th, 2010|07:06 am]
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i am so in love with this woman.
but i do miss the shaved head.
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(even the very wise cannot see how it plays out in the end) [Feb. 4th, 2010|12:24 am]
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(under the cellar) [Feb. 3rd, 2010|05:48 pm]
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under the cellar

Too much space and not enough distance
too much faith and not enough indifference
you can hear the whispers,
"the fool knows how the story goes;"

from across the whole world, the wind blows
her name and her song
her sex on your tongue
makes you crazy screaming out loud just drown out the sound
of what you won't stop telling yourself

i'll tell you a story, but you shouldn't worry
because i think you know
just how the ending goes:

you'll hang on to love, when push comes to shove
you will be everything for her
except good enough

and when you finally crawl out
from under the cellar door
you will give yourself like whore
crying that the only cure
is the sword
that cut you deep inside?

but your strength won't hold; unless it holds somebody else
and your words won't lie
to anyone else but themselves;
and your story won't end
even if no one else gives a damn about it.
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(cellar door) [Jan. 25th, 2010|11:56 pm]
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twilight enters through the
narrow wooden slats
there are no lights in this place.
no exits either.
swallow the key.
too stupid to find it; too smart to tell yourself
where you've hidden it.
play pretty pretend
pretend that anyone gives a shit about the mopey bullshit you write
pretend that in the morning you'll be right as rain
even though
there will never be another dawn
say what you will about the bottle
it was here for me; where were you
where the fuck were you
where
where
where
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(yeah, ok) [Jan. 25th, 2010|07:59 pm]
not one single thing ever can have a good outcome ever.
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(dear livejournal) [Jan. 24th, 2010|12:14 pm]
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Actually, dear everyone who uses livejournal.
Entertain me, dammit. I used to get on here, and check my flist EVERY DAY. And there would be posts in almost every comm, and there would be hot girls like (including but NOT LIMITED TO) [info]swandust and [info]readysteadystop and [info]devilzfood posting funny videos/links/webfinds, and there would be GIF WARZ, and FLAEMWARZ, and enormous threads with lots of win, and sometimes even like, actual intelligent conversation.
NOW I CHECK I COULD CHECK MY FLIST ONCE A WEEK AND IT'S LIKE I WOULDN'T EVEN MISS ANYTHING!!!

What, am I supposed to hold down the fort with my emo /tag/ramble posts?
There's only so many Youtube videos I can post.
Even Azurefaggotron has its limits!

I AM ONLY ONE MAN.

ONE MAN. ONE SORROW.


hahahahahaha

OKAY SO HERE'S YOUR HOMEWORK, DOUCHEBAGS:

A) Under the cut, I have some funny stuff. Figure it out.
B) Post some funny stuff in the comments of this entry.
C) Let's start a GIFWARZ in this post. I Challenge [info]tinomenwprlck and [info]ninjagirl, but whoever else has the cajones to take me on, BRING IT.
D) gawrsh, I love you guyse hyuck hyuck hyuck.
E) EDIT: EVERYTHING IS ABOUT [info]love_potion9! EVERYTHING IS ABOUT [info]love_potion9! EVERYTHING IS ABOUT [info]love_potion9!


Read more... )
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(find my pants) [Jan. 23rd, 2010|09:20 am]
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names have been changed

but
in the dream,
i was coming downstairs from my apartment and Duck and Nola were waiting downstairs for me. i wasn't wearing any pants, just my boxers. And i couldn't find my car.
"We parked in the back," Duck told me. i was worried about my car because i couldn't see it anywhere. "Remember we left it at the arcade," Duck explained, "and rode here together."
Ah, makes perfect sense, i thought. And my pants must be in the arcade as well.
We went behind my apartments (which doesn't exist, btw), and the car was a big, purple Bronco. i sat in the backseat. We drove, but i didn't know where we were going. We were having good conversation, but i don't know what we were talking about.
Somewhere along the car ride, i have my hand on the headrest of Nola's seat. She takes my hand and i feel weird. i squeeze her hand, in an affectionate gesture, but i regret it. i am at once reminded that i am angry with her, violently, madly, seethingly angry. However, i continue pretending to be cheerful. Then she turns to face me and tries to kiss me.
i turn so it winds up being a kiss on the cheek and pull away so that its only minimal contact.
she says "i was hoping for a kiss that might last more than 6 seconds."
i laugh and say i love it when she kisses me on the cheek. We arrive somewhere.
There is snow and it looks like someone's backyard. i enter the backyard and there is a small, stone wall. Beyond it there is a huge forest. i hear a country song playing that goes "Oh, I been huntin' on the Vastwood!"
i climb over the wall. Duck follows me, but i'm not sure about Nola. Duck and i wind up getting lost in the woods together. i follow a trail of dog poop that glows green.
"there's dog shit everywhere," i say, realizing that i'm walking on all fours, "be careful."
Then i'm no longer just walking on all fours, i am a dog. i am a dog and i am smelling out something. Duck is behind me, she is much bigger now, like a giant. i am sniffing something out for her, like a hunting dog.
The trail ends in a gas station. Not outside of it, but inside. The forest simply becomes the inside of a convenience store. Nola is there. She and Duck browse around making a purchase. i am very thirsty, like about to die. i open a two-liter coke that had already been opened and chug it. i tell the man working that i will buy it. i look at the sticker and am relieved it's been marked down to $1.19 since someone already drank out of it before me.
There is a large pit, somewhere, and in it a bear and a white tiger are fighting. People crowd around the pit. They cheer for the white tiger because it is bigger, but it looks like the bear is winning, while the tiger is hardly putting up a fight. i do not like watching the animals hurt each other, so i leave.
Outside, when they come out, i say, "Why would i have taken my pants off in the arcade?"
They shrug.
"Clearly, i didn't."
They shrug.
"So, my car must be at the arcade, but my pants must be at my house."
Duck says, "Yeah, that makes sense."
"Can you... Do you mind taking me to my car?" i ask, timid.
"Of course, it's no problem." Duck says.
On the way back to the arcade i somehow am playing an online game... it is like a mixture of Settlers of Catan and Civilization Rev. i don't know how i am playing the game, if i had a phone or something, i don't remember. But i remember i had to invite people to the game, i remember invited Beth, who had an avatar that looked like an Easter Island head, and Duck's sister. i remember having connection issues and the game was lagging or giving errors while i played.
The last thing i remember is i had to place a piece on the game board. There was a lake. To the north of the lake, there was a village. i wanted to place my piece near the village because it would get me some kind of bonus. But at the same time, i was afraid.
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(boarding a plane) [Jan. 19th, 2010|11:19 pm]
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nighttime in the airport,
college students, dads, and business men,
rebelted and reshoed,
wheel luggage under illuminated signs.
in my hand there is a paper and it means
seat number
gate
boarding zone
separation
arrival time
longing
destination
maybe it was a dream, nothing more.
flight number
will i ever see you again?
confirmation number
departure time

so simple, the gun scans a barcode, and zip!
i am down a ramp and then
in a plane, and then
shoving my overstuffed carry-on in an overhead bin
and then
offered peanuts and a beverage
at 30,000 feet away from you

how did it happen so fast?
i had only moments ago just arrived
why i could have sworn, just a moment ago
i was standing with you on a frozen lake
wearing borrowed boots and sliding our feet side to side and
you practiced the moonwalk and i
slipped around awkwardly, waving my arms to keep balance
one misstep after another,
stumbling into you like a crash

but now already it is time to
turn off all portable electronics
seatbelts fastened
tray tables seat backs locked in their upright position
my face is wet and hot
comply with all crew member instructions
taste the salt on my lips
eyes burning
smoking is prohibited
breath short and fast
heart broken
if you need additional lighting, a reading light
will be found
above you.
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test [Jan. 12th, 2010|03:04 pm]
test
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(cold cold cold in my rabbit hole) [Jan. 9th, 2010|01:51 pm]
Alright so here's a little rambly all-over-the-placy update doobady doo.

Read more... )
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(voyage) [Dec. 31st, 2009|05:08 pm]
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unintentional
much like the way that a teacup never means to break
hits the floor, ceramic pieces shatter
each fly
unguided
much like the way that water
runs down your skin
making its path wherever it can
and a rainstorm can show up unannounced and
in the morning you might catch a glimpse
of a family of deer
in the snow
outside your window as you brew coffee
they look at you for a moment before darting away
unintentional
you didn't mean for any of this to happen; neither did i.
but we're here now.
whether by happy accident or misfortune
i pity the miles that dare get in my way
for i shall gobble them up like an angry dragon
and when i show up at the terminal
the lady in blue wearing too much make up
will ask my name and i will say
my name is voyage.
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(oh yeah and) [Dec. 25th, 2009|08:49 am]
Oh yeah, and happy birthday, Jesus.

Thanks for the salvation and stuff.
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(never thought i'd be on a boat) [Dec. 25th, 2009|07:53 am]
i love my mother, but i think if i have to spend one more microsecond in the car with her, i'm going to spontaneously combust my head. Not my whole body, just my head will blow up in a fiery explosion. It will send brains and blood and fire marshmallow peeps flying everywhere. My sister and my dad and my sister's girlfriend will be covered in bloody, brainy, marshmallow peep goo.

i am so bored over here. Well, i guess that's my own fault, i mean i could work when there's nothing to do. i have plenty of work to do. Geez, i could even make a new goblins! comic. Wouldn't that be something. i mean, it's been what, three or four days since the last one? No, longer than that... maybe a few weeks? Wait... Egads! It's been months!

Not that anybody except exactly one person cares. It's good to have one dedicated fan though.

My sister asked me what my new year's resolutions would be. i told her i would either stop drinking or stop having sex with women whom i am not at least dating.

Who knows, maybe i'll do both. One kind of begets the other. i think there's some kind of weird irony in the fact that i can find women who will sleep with me with no commitment but i can't find a woman that will date me to save my life. Most men fantasize about sex with two women. For me, it's the same woman, twice. Get it? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.
(Perhaps it would help if my theme song wasn't "Bandolero" by Olga Tanon)

Not that any of this really matters. i mean, there are wars and injustice and social prejudices that we have to focus on. What are you doing reading my livejournal? Earth needs saving! Get to it.

Oh yeah, that's kind of my job, isn't it? i keep forgetting i'm supposed to Save Earth. In my defense, there are so many distractions! How do you Earthlings expect me to cure all social ills when you make things like the Internets to keep me busy?

Okay, okay, okay, i have a funny, funny joke.
Are you ready?
okay
Here it is:

Q: What did the village elder say when he saw the uncacu monkey dancing among the cocoa leaves with his uncircumcised penis waving to and fro?

....

A: "I wish that I had brought my coconut shell pestel that is used for grinding wild nuts!"

GET IT? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
It's a Brazilian joke, so i don't know, maybe some of it gets lost in the translation.

Hm, not sure how to tag this entry.
BTW FACEBOOK STOP PUBLISHING MY EVERYTHING TWICE


...oh yeah, and Merry Christmas or whatever.
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(winter break) [Dec. 20th, 2009|05:14 pm]
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taking apart a bed in the winter afternoon
there is a little button you have to push in,
on the metal frame to fold the legs up
no no no, you just move it so
this thing has to - there it goes.
the man arrives, with his coat and hat
and thick southern accent
carry it down with him, across the balcony
down the stairs
push it
into the back of his trailer parked outside
watch him
drive it away after the awkward well-wishing
into the avenue
never to be seen again.

and in the night you are two red bulls deep
in a place with lights where the music blares and
some creeper grinds up on every girl because
hello! he's the shit
all the ladies want him.
guy from high school overexcited to see you
telling stories about mrs. peebles' english class
ha ha ha ha shut up.
can't he see your heart is torn to shreds? can't he see
you too, are hurting?
can't he see that it wasn't just whatever?
that you would have if
and you would have if
but no, it's great. great to see him.

and in the day, it's winter break.
drive slowly through the silent streets
gray sky
skeleton trees
dead leaves
and do you really think that this agony changes anything?
the clerk at the bookstore gift wraps
the matisse book you bought for a friend
and you think about how inconvenient is truth, one, two, three,
round goes the red paper, puts a ribbon on it, a gold sticker,
you are alone in this world
that'll be eight seventy four
but what you're looking for, sir
you'll have to find somewhere else
good night.
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(fucked up) [Dec. 12th, 2009|12:59 pm]
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still kind of in shock.

that little girl. that adorable little girl, she
took a gun in her hand she
put it in her mouth
God
wtf is wrong with the world
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(no subject) [Dec. 10th, 2009|09:40 pm]
i just got the news that a person i used to know about several years committed suicide.
she shot herself in her bedroom.
she was 24 years old.
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(interview for Frockle Magazine) [Dec. 10th, 2009|12:02 am]
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Frockle Magazine, an esteemed fictional online publication has approached me and asked me to do an interview about my comic.

here it is:


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CXYicMNVxRQ

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(no subject) [Dec. 8th, 2009|03:26 pm]
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sir robert burnett's think we should have a talk now
sir robert burnett's just you and me
now
i should apologize, i
shouldn't expect answers from you.
after all, when you love the night
why not ask the
moon?
but at least when i cry now i can't even
hear you.
my secrets sleep in cities i've never been, sir.
olympia, bloomington, el cajon, jersey shores
secrets sleep in lands i've never seen.
i

think you and i should have a talk now
i think you were kind of leading me on;
i wonder was it somewhere in england
in the palace, before the queen
the queen
maybe in cheltenham or maybe in a
dream?
transluscent green
the bottle where you distilled the gin.
shipped it in a box stateside to me
shipped it in a box stateside to me
and i

God knows i've made mistakes, i know i made mistakes but
i can't put this one away
God knows, i know, i've made mistakes, on the bars and streets
of memphis.

black roses on the dashboard of her car
lost on the wrong avenue don't know where my keys
are
and a voice all the way from indiana
says you can't find yourself in the drink deep
you can't find yourself in the deep
sometimes the wrong words, they
cut you deep
sometimes you can do nothing but
weep
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(blogelitist) [Dec. 3rd, 2009|08:30 pm]
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Anyone know how to syndicate a blogspot blog onto one's LJ feed?

Trying to follow my friend's blog, but I mean... I want to see it on LJ.

Because, duh, LJ is the best.

Also, I'm an asshole.
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(starfallen) [Dec. 3rd, 2009|04:14 pm]
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If a race of superior beings arrived on Earth and offered us cures for all disease, global peace, enlightenment, technology, and greater understanding of the universe - but the cost was giving them dominion over our planet, acknowledging them as our masters and becoming subservient to their will, should we do it?

My first instinct is "No." Primarily, not only am I concerned by the stipulation of having to pledge eternal servitude to our alien masters, but also - I think it robs us of the ability to reach their elevated level ourselves. Peace on Earth seems like a utopian ideal for us to strive for as a race, not something that we should circumvent with the aid of an outside entity.

But, then again, how many lives does this reasoning doom? How many people would I condemn to poverty, hunger, disease, and death by trying to uphold some kind of ideal notion of self-development. It's like the Prime directive. Live long and prosper, asshole.

Of course, the decision largely hinges on what Alien Sovereignty means. Do the aliens harvest our planet's resources for their own, do they harvest our bodies? Exactly what do they want by ruling our planet?

Let's imagine, for the sake of argument, that we do not know. For whatever reason, (maybe they get off on it), the aliens are content in simply controlling us. All world governments are dismissed and replaced by executors of the alien law.

Still, I am skeptical. But, in the end, as an individual, what do I care who governs? After all, no matter where I go on this planet, I will be under some kind of government, right? Perhaps the aliens, enlightened as they are, know how to govern better than humans.

Ah, but here's the rub. Alien government may not at all be interested in the welfare of Humans. After all, they are essentially enslaving us. The government of Alienkind will doubtlessly have as its primary aim to further the causes of Alienkind; and furthering humankind will be only a means to that end.

However, it can easily be said that much of human government isn't interested in the welfare of humans either. How many have died or been enslaved under the rule of unjust despots? Even in less tyrannical governments, there is injustice, poverty, and mistreatment.

In the end, there wouldn't be a right or wrong answer to this; it would go the way of all things human. We would never be able to agree to total global alien rule. Some would jump at the chance to be liberated from oppressive governments and receive wisdom and power beyond imagination; yet others would resist alien occupation, and in the end we would have an interplanetary civil war.

Our would-be saviours would become harbingers of our own destruction; Even at the face of salvation would Man damn himself.

Speaking of

are "Man" and "Mankind" archaic terms originated by patriarchal bias in language and thus should always be replaced with "Human" and "Humankind," respectively?
Or is picking apart the English language for every bit of gender bias just unnecessary?
Have some coffee.
Talk amongst yourselves.
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(da blue hoodz) [Nov. 30th, 2009|11:40 pm]
CHECK OUT MY NEW #1 SINGLE COMIN OUT NEXT SURSDAY YALL BISCUITHEADS

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(underwater) [Nov. 30th, 2009|07:35 am]
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there are so many things i would tell you
there is a magic to the way
you looked away and laughed;
i want to open my mouth, flood the world with my stupidity
breath and movement escape me
disoriented, everything is a blur of colors
how did it happen so fast?
you know, come to think of it, it was sometime
at the edge of the ocean
when the water shimmered with the late afternoon sunlight
the wind, from across the world, touches your hair for me
at the bar,
drinks half empty, ice tinkling in glass
you adjust your glasses
our toes touch the sand and
i was swept at once away by the undertow
pulled into the sea and drowning and
you said it was complicated
i want to say it is just the way of water:
it moves through us, flows
our selves are water
and it's going to be okay
but i can only reach out; i'm already so far from the shore
i want to speak
say many things
but instead, i gasp for air
i'm underwater
i'm underwater
i'm underwater
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(hotlanta picspam) [Nov. 28th, 2009|06:03 pm]
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Chaka is missing out )
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(oh yeah, and) [Nov. 20th, 2009|08:12 pm]
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